Sometime over the summer I read a news story saying that Lou Reed was collaborating with The Killers, Las Vegas’ most notable 80’s rock revival (Hot Fuss) turned Springsteen admirers (Sam’s Town), for a track for their B-Side/Rarities release Sawdust.

I was hesitant. I like the band all right, but there’s a considerable gap between the Velvet Underground lyricist and these eyeliner to moustache boys. When I mentioned the recording project to my friends, they grimaced and groaned. I figured I would hold out full judgement til I could hear the song, which is finally out. “Tranquilize” is the lead off track to this odds ‘n’ ends CD.

The first few times I heard the song, it was on shuffle on my mp3 player. And without knowing what it was, my ears always immediately pricked up. It was vaguely familiar, which is probably just due two recognizing the singers’ voice.

The dichotomy between theese two vocalists is a combination that mixes well. Brandon Flowers panics in the chorus, his voice wavers as he hits those high notes. Meanwhile, Lou Reed has always had an ability to croon without a huge emotional involvement in what he’s saying. “Heroin” is one exception, but even then he’s appropriately glassy-eyed. Even on his tribute CD to Velvet Underground producer and manager Andy Warhol (Songs For Drella), recorded a year after the pop artist’s death, Reed sings heartfelt emotional lyrics with a hardened exterior. I don’t think the words in “Tranquilize” are anything remarkable. It hints at a political issues, biblical imagery, and social alienation.

The song also features a children chorus, which always adds creepiness. Not in a “We don’t need no education,” way. The kids are more vibrant here, almost taunting.

Musically it’s got what sounds like are a lot of string synths building up. No surprise there. The Killers’ debut was a synth-dance 80’s throwback and then they got all Born To Run on us with their follow-up. They are a band that relies very heavily on what came before. I don’t feel like they’re trying to fool anyone that they are so progressive. They acknowledge their elders. Apart from working with Reed on this album, they also recorded a cover of the Joy Division song “Shadowplay.”  

I’d like to see Lou Reed work with other younger bands because I think he can achieve an elder statesman position for a new generation. He was asked at an MTV awards show recently who he likes right now. He answered “Okkervil River.” Great Lou, make some calls. At the the very end Reed sounds almost like Johnny Cash did 15 years ago (American Recordings Era). He has the chance to take Cash’s flag and introduce a whole new generation to “the Banana album.” Reed ends the song hoping that “the Bushes and the bombs are all tranquilized.” Not very subtle, but dammit, we’re at war…right?

I’d give it a B

See the video here

He looked like this:

That is playwright and actor Wallace Shawn. Most known to my generation as Vizzini in the Princess Bride or the Debate teacher in Clueless. I was speechless,  because he was two feet away from me, inquiring about the location of a nearby business and he was right about to leave. I couldn’t pass the opportunity to talk to him. So I asked him if he was, in fact, Wallace Shawn. When he confirmed it, my mind soared into some extraterrestrial plane. It’s like if someone else met Jesus, or a president (not our current one, an impressive one instead). After stating “Wow” a couple of times I simply told him that his film My Dinner With Andre’ is one of my favorite films of all time and that it was a pleaure to speak to him. That was it.

 Andy Warhol once said that it feels much better to meet a person who you couldn’t fathom meeting. Though I agree with that, I also always try and think of what I would say to certain people if I met them. I always feel that it’s best to mention something they did that you genuinely liked, regardless of how popular it was with everyone else. My Dinner With Andre’ blew me away the first time I saw it and I’m glad that’s what I said. As much as when I was saying “Wow,” to him, someone in their twenties mentioning that film to him made him offer a little “Wow,” himself. Though Shawn isn’t really a star by Hollywood standards (he has played the lead in a relatively small number films), his presence in a film usually is a comforting one. As I retreated to the back of the store to find my Salinger books, someone tapped my shoulder.

“I knew I recognized that guy from somewhere, who is he?”

“That was Wallace Shawn.”

Thank god I didn’t ask him to say “Inconceivable!”

Wear a costume, be a big star.

 I’ve been catching up on a lot of flicks I’ve been meaning to see. I saw Brothers of the Head last night. An independent film about a pair of siamese twins who front a pre-punk band as a novelty act, and quickly find themselves in over their heads. Very cool and creepy, directed by the guys who did Lost in La Mancha and written by the screenwriter of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Oh and it’s probably the best rock movie since 24 Hour Party People, not to mention it features the guy who played Ian Curtis in that flick. I recommend it.

You can hear the band featured in the movie at http://www.myspace.com/thebangbang

American Psycho is really good too.

I’ve been putting this off for a while actually, and when I realized that this is the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death, it would be appropriate to stop the procrastination station and get down to business. Now as Uma Thurman says in a deleted scene from Pulp Fiction, you’re either an Elvis man or a Beatles man. I am definitely the latter. The Beatles were the first in a line of many things I would become obsessed about….actually dinosaurs were probably the first in that line but Beatles were close behind. Once the British Invasion took hold of a seven year old Craig, there was no going back.

And so I always looked down on Elvis, he was more like the punchline to a plethora of jokes than a real person. Remember, I’m a little kid when Full House is on the air, so they‘ve got John Stamos every week talking about Elvis and the friggin Beach Boys. Plus you’ve got the whole fact that the man was popularizing black music for a white audience, and he wasn’t even listening to or appreciating said music. Elvis was strictly listening to the gospel and the country. Sorry Muddy Waters, you too Chuck Berry. What was it that you said Public Enemy? Ah yes:

“Elvis was a hero to most
But he never meant shit to me you see
Straight up racist that sucker was
Simple and plain
Motherfuck him and John Wayne”

Well put Flav, well put. You’re killin em Chuck.

Well maybe I’ve grown soft as time has passed, but I’ve grown to find an appreciation for Elvis…specifically Old Fat Elvis. Maybe it was Bruce Campbell’s stunning performance in Bubba Ho-Tep. Maybe it was my newfound appreciation for deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Like Uma, I will often ask new people my own question. “Which do you prefer, Thin Elvis or Fat Elvis?” 

The thing that gets me is, Young Elvis could do it all so easily. You see clips of him in Jailhouse Rock, and he’s singing and dancing without breaking a sweat. He’s Superman and we all know the problem with Superman. He’s boring. I want to see a bit of the human condition, even in my rock music.

That’s what Fat Elvis embodies, the human condition. By 1968 he’s past his prime, it’s not as easy for him to run around that stage singing those songs. His jumpsuit is clinging to his bulging body (and it’s all bulging, not just his crotch). You watch footage of him performing in that last decade of his life and you can see him thinking “Whoa there, this is some hard work.” And in those glimpses, you see that Elvis is a human being. Add that to the fact that by this time his throne has been taken by bands like the Beatles, The Stones, The Who. Bands which grew up appreciating rock music, white and black, which Mr. Presley chose to disregard in his youth.

Speaking of the music. Suspicious Minds (1969) and Burning Love (1972) are friggin terrific, and in a strangely unintentional but personally logical move on my part, those are the only two Elvis songs that I ever listen to.

Even though I only like him for that downward spiral part of his career, I understand the guy’s importance to the whole American culture spectrum. And even if I didn’t understand it, I would still like Bubba Ho-Tep perfectly fine.

I don’t know 8 people that have blogs. I’m more of a hermit type of blogger, simply hoping that people will stumble over my rotting remains long after I’m gone. But I’ll do the 8 random facts.

1. Having worked at the Central Rappahannock Regional Library for over 6 years, I have the Dewey Decimal System pretty much engraved into my long term memory, and can probably give you the number for any non-fiction subject or vice-versa (Give or take 10). 

2. I was born in the same hospital as Ricky Nelson in Teaneck, New Jersey. After the first few days of our lives, the similarities ceased.

3. When I was in elementary school, I was beaten up by a 13 year old girl. There was a bump on my head for a week.

4. One of my second cousins on my dad’s side was president of the L.A. Dodgers. One of my second cousins on my mom’s side was the manager of the Goo Goo Dolls (way before that City of Angels song)

5. My favorite film of all time is Terry Gilliam’s Brazil.

6. Every summer between 6th and 11th grade, I would sleep on my floor so I could be closer to the air vents. It was like a person sized nest.

7. I bit a kid when I was in preschool…which led to my expulsion

8.  In my spare time I write songs about tooth decay, divine cookouts, Where’s Waldo obsessives, monsters, circus freak revolts, manically depressed robots, mexican food and my friend Bobby.

2. Okkervil River’s new album is out. Stage Names is its name and brilliant folk rock is it’s game. Here’s the opening song “Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe.” The best vocal melody I’ve heard this year.

3. The best song by the Hives is, hands down, “No Pun Intended.” Though never a single, it is the shining example of the group’s electroshock by way of buzzsaw brushfire beats. This group of Swedes seem to have disappeared from the face of the Earth after they exploded onto the scene a couple years ago. “No Pun Intended” is off their 2004 album, Tyrannosaurus Hives, and in the past three months I have not only put this gem on my own mixtapes, but I have received two mixes from close friends who, without ever having discussed the lovingly epileptic tune with me, also happened to think that it was worth sharing. Tyrannosaurus Hives inadvertently exposed me to Pitchfork, the 21st century rock snob’s haven. Though they can be flakey, I was instantly won over with this freakin’ gem which still makes me laugh when I read it years later. The people have spoken.

4. I’m seeing Hot Fuzz again on Tuesday, which I highly recommend to everyone. I thought Edgar Wright’s previous film Shaun of the Dead was, simply put, hilarious. Hot Fuzz is less successful with the comedy but reaches the stratos when it comes to being the smartest action flick in years. I’m someone who wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of action flicks as a kid (I just saw Robocop last week and hadn’t seen The Terminator until a couple of years ago), and I think this transcends your typical dumb action-comedy. See you in hell Rush Hour 3….on second thought I’ll pass on that.

       It’s not only a shame that the eloquent, yet blunt when he wants to be, Ebert is unable to speak in the most basic sense. Speech is the most economical and clear form of communication we have. What’s extremely unfortunate is that it comes at a time when film studios are trying their best to kick critics to the curb. Cancelling preview screenings in order to avid bad press has become a popular trend when it comes to those bottom of the barrell flicks that make a quick buck and disappear into oblivion. Roger Ebert is certainly the kind of juggernaut that the world of criticism could use right now. Even if he can’t speak for them, there will always be an audience for critics. So it’s very exciting to see that in his absence from television, Ebert has posted 5000 reviews from the past 20 years of his television programs at The Balcony Archive. Such resources are so beneficial, especially since the consumers of Netflix are more focused on older films than new rentals. A film nut can spend days searching and seeing what the most popular critics in America thought of films on their opening weekends. Even if you don’t agree with them, they will give you interesting opinions that you may find to be a new reading, or you may find them so obtuse that you’re yelling along with them. For example, both Rushmore and Edward Scissorhands received thumbs down reviews when they opened, but I think you would see opinions for these films only get better as time passes. What you get is, in part, a history lesson. What’s more, it often shows how reluctant these reviewers are to go by their own “all-or-nothing” gimmick. You’ll often see them giving a regretful thumbs down to something they found intriguing but a little off and vice versa.

Now Ebert has a whole plethora of archive material already at www.rogerebert.com, but this is the first time I’ve seen a resource that really gets a good collection of Gene Siskel’s opinions. It’s funny how often I find myself siding with him over Ebert. Roeper on the other hand, I find to have weak arguments, so If you have some free time, I suggest you search for your favorite movies, especially those made before Gene Siskel’s death in 1999 so you can really observe the entertainment value found in good criticism.

Clark and Michael is an internet series** being made in conjunction with CBS written by and starring Clark Duke and Michael Cera. Cera is best known as young George Michael (not the singer/songwriter) on Arrested Development, which I cannot begin to quantify in terms of amazingness. George Michael Bluth was one of the most solid adolescent characters TV ever had, beautifully constructed out of naivete, goodwill, and a three season yearning…for his cousin Maebe.

But just because Cera is the more recognizable face, the comedy is shared equally amongst both parties as they embark on a journey to get their TV series made. The show, much like the popular trend dictates, is a faux-documentary of their efforts. The two have learned from characters like Regional Manager David Brent that an unflattering self-portrayal does wonders for comedy.

Their other influence seems to be Aquateen Hunger Force, strange as that may seem. Random humor is certainly there. Before I forget, I must say that they have terrrific opening credits. But like ATHF, who were detectives for about an episode and a half,  Duke and Cera seem to almost forget their Hollywood dreams. I think that’s a good thing, because it’s their interactions with each other definitely outshine whatever narrative they might have, like when they explore the possibilities of rubbing alcohol:

“Clark: You can use this from asshole to elbow.

Michael: (With gleeful bewilderment) Like what do you want me to say? What am I going to say to a guy like you?”

That’s the shirts come off.

2000 miles away from there, New Zealand’s 4th most popular folk comedy duo march down their NYC apartment and take to the streets. Their shaggy black hair bounces with each step of their strut. They stick out their lips like Iceman after he played the most homoerotic volleyball game of his life. They are attitude.Then they open their mouths…and hopelessly moronic things start spilling out. 

The Flight of the Concords are comprised of Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. On their HBO show, premiering tonight at 10:30, they live together but are totally clueless towards each other’s thoughts and desires. Jemaine is even oblivious in the first episode that he has asked out Bret’s ex, though they have clearly met each other before. When he brings her back to his place and tries to entice her, Brett is lying in bed in plain view, staring at the couple.

The next day after much thought over the whole matter Jemaine says out of the blue “I think she found it weird with you there with the light on.”

Bret retorts “Yeah…I think it also might be because she and I used to go out.

Jemaine – “Yeah, but also the thing with the light.”

With density such as this, Flight of the Concords could (and would) drown in Salt Lake City.

As a folk comedy duo, it goes without saying that the guys will often break into song, Jemaine’s sexy ballad emerges smoothly: ”You’re so beautiful you could be a paaart tiiiime model, but you’d probably still have to keep your normal job.”

If you don’t have HBO, you can still watch Flight of the Concords first episode over here.

When it comes down to it, Clark and Michael have a much better chance of succeeding and continuing to make episodes by fueling themselves off internet buzz and sticking to their very inexpensive doc style. The expectations and boundaries that come with an 30 minute HBO series may drain the New Zealand group after a while, as funny as they are. I don’t know how I feel about the women that stalks Jemaine and Bret, pretending to run into them whenever they come and go from their place. It certainly adds to their obliviousness.

I encourage you to give these two shows a chance, just a taste to see if you like it. If not, you can always spend your extra time this summer reading. God I’m a nerd.

*Who managed to get me to thoroughly watch and enjoy MTV for the first time in well over five years, especially with their (and their friends’) 24 hour takeover of the network. Ted Leo whaaa?

 **On a related note, am I alone when thinking that the term “webisode” sounds like something really filthy?